Archive for Holy Week

Is it I?

March 24, 2016 / / Comments Off on Is it I?
The Last Supper, 1886 Fritz von Uhde Stadtische Galerie im Lenbachhaus, Munich

The Last Supper, 1886
Fritz von Uhde
Stadtische Galerie im Lenbachhaus, Munich

 

And when it was evening he came with the twelve. And as they were at table eating, Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me, one who is eating with me.” They began to be sorrowful, and to say to him one after another, “Is it I?”  (Mark 14: 17-19)

 

As I think about that final meal, I find myself pondering the moment when the notion of betrayal is introduced. I suppose the disciples suspected that violence and death were near, but they probably thought it would come from outside the group. When they learn that those terrible events will be set in motion by evil within, they are hurt and sad and they begin to question. And in that awful moment, they say to him, one after another, “Is it I?”

Their question makes me draw a breath. There’s so much humanity revealed: the pain and self-accusation; the bewilderment. It’s that place in life where things turn upside down, and we try to figure out what went wrong. Is this all my fault?

It’s astonishing they don’t turn on each other. (“I knew it! You were never really one of us!”) It wouldn’t be the first time they’d argued. Yet, one by one they look to Jesus to reveal the truth that in that moment they cannot know about themselves.

Lord, look within me and tell me what I am capable of. Tell me before it’s too late. Tell me, is it I?

 

Category: Holy Week, Maundy Thursday /

The most difficult Sunday

April 13, 2014 / / 3 comments
© BrokenSphere / Wikimedia Commons CC-BY-SA

Photo © BrokenSphere / Wikimedia Commons
CC-BY-SA

 

The older I get, the harder it is to haul myself out of the house and into a pew on Palm Sunday. It’s not that I’m opposed to celebrating the triumphal entry or going outside and marching around waving palms in broad daylight on city streets. No. I’m fine with all of that, and I actually enjoy the pageantry.

But as the years accumulate behind me, all that glory, laud, and honor starts to feel a little hollow on Palm Sunday, because you know that this is not going to end well. After the palms comes the Passion narrative. In less than an hour people are going to be shouting “Crucify him!” and there will be machinations and treachery and just plain human meanness and weakness. The cruelty won’t even stop once they’ve got him on the cross. The soldiers, the passersby, and the thieves crucified beside Jesus taunt him.  It’s a truly wrenching service in which a joyful crowd turns into an vicious mob, Barabbas is set free and Jesus dies. And it all happens so quickly.

For me, Palm Sunday is one of the most depressing Sundays of the year. The story confirms most of the worst of what we know to be true about humanity. It rings uncomfortably true.

So why go? Why not just skip it this year?

Because I don’t want to be one of those people who would let Jesus go to Jerusalem by himself. Because I can’t say “What a friend we have in Jesus” if I’m not willing to be a friend. Because being sad and uncomfortable is a small thing in comparison to the sacrifice and the gift.

 

What language shall I borrow
To thank thee, dearest Friend,
For this thy dying sorrow,
Thy pity without end?
O make me thine for ever;
And should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never
Outlive my love to thee.

 

Category: Holy Week, Palm Sunday, Passion, worship /

The Seven Stars

March 30, 2013 / / One comment

 
 

In anticipation of the light that is coming: Jonathan Dove’s choral setting of Amos 5:8 and Psalm 139, ‘Seek Him That Maketh the Seven Stars’

 

Seek Him that maketh the seven stars and Orion
and turneth the shadow of death into the morning.
Alleluia, yea, the darkness shineth as the day,
the night is light about me.
Amen.

Category: Easter, Holy Week, music, Passion, Pipe organ, worship / Tags: ,

In the night in which he was betrayed

March 28, 2013 / / One comment

My companion stretched out his hand against his friends,
    he violated his covenant.
 His speech was smoother than butter,
    yet war was in his heart;
his words were softer than oil,
    yet they were drawn swords.

Psalm 55:20-21

The older I get, the more I understand the element of betrayal in the story leading us to Easter. The political maneuvering, the human weakness and fear–it all makes sense to me in a way it didn’t when I was younger.  I’ve seen more of what people are willing to do–often for very small gain–so the story makes me sad and afraid, and it makes me feel alone.

This is why I marvel that on that night when he was betrayed, Christ prayed that we should become a community.  That our wills and desires, our knowledge and strength should no longer be in conflict, but be unified through the Holy Spirit.

I do not pray for these only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, that they may all be one…

John 17: 20-21a

Community feels so far away–impossible–when you’re in the midst of betrayal. The psalmist’s words feel more authentic:

Let death come upon them;
    let them go down to Sheol alive;
    let them go away in terror into their graves. (Ps:55:15)

 

But that’s not the example we’re given.

 

 

 

Category: Holy Week, Maundy Thursday, Passion /
 
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